1. NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Maggi Mee.
2. NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam.
3. NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
4. NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple
5. NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many swear by it.
But after a few pints they start
swearing at everything.. .
6. NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning.
7. NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
8. NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, period, haven't removed make-up, haven't had a shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Desperate Housewives', depressed, no mood, etc...
9. NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. (oh ya??)
10. NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon;
Tiger Balm.
11. NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
12. NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
13. NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police roadblock.
14. NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
15. NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!
On second thought, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say 'Pew Jeot'. When I was in school, Milo was always 'MeeLo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say 'My Lo'. So don't be embarassed saying 'Carry 4' when the ! Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as 'rangootan'.
16. NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION:
The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes 'bouncing' about on the streets.
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